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I can’t remember the last time I felt so defeated, so out of control. The whole of December was supposed to be my time—a time to wind down, reflect, and live out the month in all its glory. The last week, in particular, was going to be my escape, my chance to leave behind the… Read more: a month spent waiting

Watching Mahabharata again recently took me straight back to my childhood, to those times with my dadi ji. She used to sit me down and narrate the whole story to me, word by word. I was just a kid, but her voice would weave magic, making the epic come alive in ways I could never… Read more: deciding to breath

For the first time in weeks, I’ve started to wonder if maybe there’s a chance that this won’t work out. It’s a strange and unsettling thought—one I never let myself consider before. But being on my own, feeling this gap day after day, makes me think about it differently. What if I’m just setting myself… Read more: to be miserable for a long time?

Two times in one week? Maybe Scorpio really is my season. Joking that it might dull the ache, but I know better. However, a video call has topped it all— small mercies that only seem to deepen the longing. This birthday felt quieter than ever, a year slipping by like a whispered promise. Another year… Read more: the last warmth of autumn

There’s an album in my phone with your name on it, a collection of glimpses of you, ready for those times when I know I won’t see your face for a while. But when that time comes, I can’t bring myself to look. All of a sudden, the empty space I begged not to grow… Read more: woven into the very fabric of my being

I recently came across Sarah Russell’s poem “If I Had Three Lives,” and it left a profound impression on me. The poem captures a bittersweet feeling, exploring the theme of longing for what could have been if different choices had been made. It delves into the complexities of love and the choices that shape our… Read more: beyond what/ifs

I started running again this week. It’s been alright, I guess. It helps keep my mind off things. I also ordered pizza for my brother. We laughed while watching movies together. It was a good time. With another phone call for a few minutes felt like the cherry on top. I also went to see… Read more: lingering shadows

Wrapped in layers of longing and yearning, a moment of surprise can feel like a breath of fresh air. As if time paused and for just a fleeting instant, everything shifted. That brief realization evokes a rush of emotions, elation, relief and even a hint of disbelief— a reminder that amidst the waiting and the… Read more: caught me off guard

A vivid picture of a quiet, enduring longing? It seems as though one house itself is experiencing a heartache, with every window waiting and every creak and sigh serving as silent witnesses to the emptiness left behind. The windows, like the soul, remain open, hopeful yet aching, watching for a glimpse of the one they… Read more: until that time, my windows ache.